Recently Declassified CIA Operations

OPERATION: SUPER SUMMER – This operation, carried out in the summer of 1976, was conducted for the sole purpose of giving the high school students of Wekiva Springs, Florida the best vacation of their lives, completely clandestinely. Success! The summer is remembered by every subject at ratings of “fondly” and above.

OPERATION: DOVE TORNADO – This operation, carried out in 1984, was a field test of the theory that feeding live doves into a tornado funnel would disperse the phenomenon. Partial success. The solution worked, but the number of doves required was judged cost-prohibitive.

OPERATION: FRIEND BALLOON – This operation, carried out in 1956, involved a red balloon which the CIA had bestowed with sentience. It was released in Paris to monitor its behaviour in an urban environment. Failure! The balloon became obsessed with a young boy and began stalking him. It was soon neutralised by CIA agents, but the child carried the resultant phobia of balloons with him for the rest of his life.

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